Messages...

What a prompt!

I am FULL of messages. I can't help myself. I was raised by a headstrong, dynamic Woman who raised me to be just like her, despite the fact, that in that process, conflict ensued!

My mother was ahead of her time. She loved to play baseball, but in the '50s, Little League didn't allow Girls, so she cut her hair, strapped down her budding breasts with ACE bandages, so she could pose as a boy, and played anyway. She grew up in Phoenix, where pro-baseball teams went for spring training, and launched herself up and out of her seat to catch a foul ball hit by one of her "Heroes" (Willie Mays), breaking her collarbone in the process. We have the signed baseball and newspaper clipping to prove it. My Grandmother was not just embarrassed, but "horrified" by the photo, since Willie Mays was a "Negro." But my mother didn't care. Willie Mays was her Hero, and she didn't give a damn what her mother thought of that (or maybe she did, and that's exactly why she chose him to be one of her Heroes...)

My Mother was brilliant, vibrant, and outspoken during a time when that was not "acceptable" or "ladylike." My grandfather was the eldest of four boys who wound up being the father of three girls. My mother was the Son He Always Wanted, yet he could not look past her gender to see that. She spent not only her childhood and adolescence trying to prove herself to him, but also her entire adult life. All she ever wanted was his approval, and she never, EVER got it.

But, the effort she put into that thankless goal, made her into this amazing mother--not the kind of mother that most people get. Instead, she was this force for her two daughters--filled with Words of Wisdom and MESSAGES. When I was 7 years old, MY mother was reading the Once and Future King to my sister and me as a bedtime story. We were well-versed in Arthurian Legend, Greek and Roman Mythology, and plenty of other "Classic Literature." She was an avid reader (her "escape" from the mundane, repetitious, and isolating experience that Housewivery proved to be for her), and she launched a love of reading in my sister and me, introducing us to the genres that she knew would capture our individual interests and personalities.

As we got older, we recognized that "time around the dinner table," was a time for MESSAGES. That was the time when my mother "learned us."

Other people have "Momisms" that, while they can be "funny internet fodder" are actually, kind of stupid. Things like, "I brought you into this world, and I can take you OUT!" or "Don't make me come BACK there!"

NOT SO in my House. Idle threats involving physical violence were not her style. Instead, my Mother had REAL things to say, like: "Don't ever rely on a Man to support you," and "There is NO form of Birth Control that is 100% effective," and "You can't legislate morality." (I do the same with my kids today, and we all jokingly refer to this discipline technique as "Death By Lecture.")

Her MESSAGES involved application of logic and critical thinking, questioning authority, sticking up for yourself, personal accountability, accepting challenges, and striving for bigger and better goals.

My sister and I were her proudest achievements. But we didn't get where we are today without the sting and bite of her criticisms. She prodded us, pushed us, created us to be what she so very much wanted to be, but never really got the opportunity to be. She pushed us so hard, and sometimes it HURT. And it saddens me so much that she isn't here to see that I finally AM who she wanted me to be--a Woman at the pinnacle of her career, influencing policy and guiding decisions of Executives at the highest level of my Agency! And my sister, who is sacrificing HER career because she knows all too well, just how important it is for her son to have a mother who can "be there" at bedtime every night to read books and take him to the park on the weekends. SHE made US. We would not be the mothers/women that we are without her influence.

And, so, I find myself "channeling" her whenever I talk to my children. My Parenting Style is a little bit different, but I still funnel similar MESSAGES to them, and I can only hope that they will still "sink in" on some level, so they will become the kind of people their Grandmother would be proud of.

Movie Review

Against my better judgment, I allowed the kids to talk me into taking them to see Avatar in 3-D. I knew this was going to be a disaster because the movie is too popular right now, and I knew I would be annoyed with the logistics of getting tickets and seats (shows are selling out right and left, so we had to show up 2 hours early to get tickets, and then stand in line for an hour to get seats, and even then, we had to sit in the front, which I hate). I also knew I would HATE the movie because it combined the 3 movie genres I loathe: 1) Sci-Fi, 2) Fantasy, and 3) Action/Violence. Oh wait, make that 4 movie genres--add any movie involving James Cameron as #4!

Yes, the movie is stunning and visually appealing, and the graphics are technologically amazing--I will give you that. The 3-D stuff was pretty cool, and it didn't make me nauseous, although I had difficulty focusing sometimes, and honestly had to shut my eyes during some of the action scenes so I wouldn't get a migraine. But (and this is a BIG "BUT") the movie contained every formulaic plot-line and stereotype that has ever been done, and they were done so blatantly BADLY, they were vomit-inducing. Let me list them for you:

1) Insensitive, racially-superior, short-sighted, capitalist White Men/Americans (think Dances with Wolves, Far and Away, or any movie involving George Clooney.)
2) Out-numbered, Underdog Battle Scenes (think Braveheart, The Patriot, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, etc.)
3) Ridiculously-overdone and wasteful destruction by military machines/weaponry (think Terminator, Transformers, War of the Worlds, Independence Day.)
4) Annoyingly-Predictable Romance: Boy meets Girl under False Pretenses, Girl Hates Boy, Boy wins Girl over while falling for her, Girl discovers False Pretenses, Girl hates Boy again, Boy redeems himself and wins Girl back (think How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, She's All That, 10 Things I Hate About You, You've Got Mail, and about 1,000 other examples in the "Romantic Comedy/Drama" Genre.)
5) One-dimensional, Evil Bad Guy that takes forever to kill (see films mentioned above, plus about 1,000,000 other examples from the Horror and Suspense Genres.)

But the WORST thing about this movie was it's blatantly-obvious, preachy, condescending moral/political/environmental Agenda that was shoved down the throat of the audience with NO subtlety or artistry. I like dramatic movies. I like intelligent dialogue. I like subtle humor and symbolism. I like movies that make me think. So, I can respect a movie with a message, but I also want to be treated like an intelligent person with a brain and Free Will. I do not appreciate being bitch-slapped by someone else's "Agenda."

I also found the movie's portrayal of the U.S. Military offensive. I hate war movies and violent movies because they ALWAYS feature hundreds of deaths of "minor characters" and "extras," showing no regard for them as human beings. (This goes for "Good Guys" as well as "Bad Guys." EVERY PERSON in a movie is somebody's son or daughter and could be somebody's parent or sibling or friend--I HATE the way Hollywood so easily treats human life as "expendable.") While the movie tried to "separate" the audience from their loyalty and support of American Men and Women currently serving their Country by stating that the soldiers stationed at Pandora were just "mercenaries" going there for a paycheck, I still found it offensive and insensitive. The plot was rife with symbolism and metaphors and parallels equating Pandora's natural resources with Iraqi Oil. They even included a line for the maniacal Bad-Guy Military Commander, labeling the "Natives" as Terrorists and stating, "We'll fight terror with terror" (knowing full well that the "Natives" had no weapons that could penetrate their military machines and that "women and children" would be killed.) Plus, the movie gratuitously showed a Marine slaughtering his former co-workers dressed in the same Military Fatigues that our Men and Women serving in Iraq, Afghanistan, Korea, etc. are CURRENTLY WEARING! Am I the ONLY person in America who found that OFFENSIVE?!?!?

I left the movie theatre feeling completely pissed off and really annoyed that I paid full price for the tickets. I ranted all the way home to my kids, in an attempt to "de-program" them from their Brainwashing Experience, pointing out all of the STUPIDITY in the plot and dialogue. Hollywood honestly wants people to think that our military and political leaders sit around and make decisions without caring one iota about innocent lives and collateral damage. Hollywood is FULL of ignorance. Unfortunately, Hollywood is also full of financial wealth and the ability to use movie-making to push their lame and ignorant "World View."

I came home tonight all riled up and wanting to vent, but I have no forum/influence outside of the impressionable minds of my two children, besides this blog which is buried in cyberspace and un-influential. My kids respect my opinions and listen to what I have to say, and I think my dialogue with them afterwards made an impression. They both loved the movie, but it was our discussion AFTER the movie that made them THINK. Thankfully, they understand that movies are "make-believe" and so they seperate "real life" from movies. (They told me, after my Rant, "Geez, Mom--it's JUST a movie! Lighten up!") Still, it saddens me to get on the internet, hoping to find Like-Minded people posting reviews of this movie noting the same things I noted, and, sadly, can't find many.

I can only hope that "Real America" agrees with me, but they are too busy being fiscally-responsible and taking care of their kids and their communities and preparing "Care Packages" to soldiers overseas to have time to waste dithering about a STUPID movie on the internet.

I am deeply-saddened that during times of recession, Hollywood continues to thrive. I will never, EVER pay full-price for a movie again. I will wait and see it at the Dollar Theatre or for it to become available on NetFlix, but NEVER AGAIN will I give that VILE INDUSTRY more than a dollar of my wages! And the only reason I will give them THAT much is because Hollywood employs A LOT of people--set designers, camera crew, costume designers, make-up artists, etc. and brings Revenue to the locations they are filming in (including my home state), so, as a Capitalist, I won't cut them off completely, but I can certainly "limit" my "donations"!

Rant Over.

I think I need to go watch It's a Wonderful Life again so I can purge James Cameron's Cattle-Prod from my backside. (Fortunately for me, my head is not shoved up my ass, so my brain was not damaged by his attempt at turning me into an ignoramus.)