Nothing like a new blog site to waste more of my precious time! I've been blogging for years on another site, but felt like a change of venue was necessary, so here I am, trying to figure out Blogger.
So, more about me. Me, me, me, me, me! (Why I blog--to talk about ME because in real life nobody wants to hear you talk about yourself, so instead, we foist ourselves upon the internet).
I have two great kids, that makes me, primarily, a "Mom." That title still surprises me sometimes because I don't always feel qualified, and because my relationship with my kids is often rather goofy and silly and decidely un-Mom-like. But I like it that way. I think we are a pretty close-knit little family unit. We are very open and honest with one another, and I think my kids trust me and find me to be pretty dependable. We laugh a lot, and that's important.
I've been divorced for 3 years. 3 horrible years. The divorce, itself, wasn't all that horrible for me--after all, I was the "petitioner," but the fall-out was horrible. It cost me thousands of my hard-earned dollars, and it is still costing me to this day. I've had to deal with a Custody Evaluation, alimony payments, false police reports, a "scandalous affair" and subsequently devastating "break-up," and the emergence of a particularly evil woman who is my kid's new stepmother and who takes great personal satisfaction in making my life Hell. But, hey, I've come through it all okay, a little worse for wear, but okay. I'm still smiling, and, if anything, all of these experiences are still turned into amusing anecdotes for whoever wants to listen.
Since my role as "wife" has gone away, I find myself struggling to claim a new identity. I went from my parent's house, to a sorority house, to being married, so I've never really had the particular "life experience" of being single and on my own. It's kind of strange, but kind of fun, except that now I'm old, so I can't have the kind of fun that 20-somethings are out having. I like that I don't have to balance my checkbook anymore because I'm the only one spending money out of my account. (There are no surprises in there anymore!) I like being able to make all my own choices without having to consider someone else's taste or preferences. I like being in charge. I like being able to try new things and go places. I don't like joint custody. I hate for my kids to be away, even though I have come to enjoy my "alone time." I have a great job and a great career. If anything, my life has improved since the divorce, despite the monetary losses. I am making more money, have better credit, and more freedom to succeed than I ever had while married. But, I worry sometimes, about what my future holds because I know that eventually my kids will grow up and move out and won't need me as much anymore. And then who will I be?
Well, I would like to be a fun and interesting person, so I am trying to change my hermit-like ways. On the weekends when my kids were away, I used to go to the library, check out a bunch of books, and then lay around reading all weekend, only leaving the house to go grocery-shopping. (I have read over 50 books this year!) I fear I am destined to become a "crazy cat lady" if I keep this up. So, I'm trying to "get out more," which is hard to do when you have to either do it alone or go out with your parents. I need some new friends, don't I?
So this is what my blog will be about--my adventures as an independent woman. When I first started my other blog, I was more of a "Mommy Blogger," but now I want to capture ME, and what I am doing, saying, and thinking.
