Movie Review

Against my better judgment, I allowed the kids to talk me into taking them to see Avatar in 3-D. I knew this was going to be a disaster because the movie is too popular right now, and I knew I would be annoyed with the logistics of getting tickets and seats (shows are selling out right and left, so we had to show up 2 hours early to get tickets, and then stand in line for an hour to get seats, and even then, we had to sit in the front, which I hate). I also knew I would HATE the movie because it combined the 3 movie genres I loathe: 1) Sci-Fi, 2) Fantasy, and 3) Action/Violence. Oh wait, make that 4 movie genres--add any movie involving James Cameron as #4!

Yes, the movie is stunning and visually appealing, and the graphics are technologically amazing--I will give you that. The 3-D stuff was pretty cool, and it didn't make me nauseous, although I had difficulty focusing sometimes, and honestly had to shut my eyes during some of the action scenes so I wouldn't get a migraine. But (and this is a BIG "BUT") the movie contained every formulaic plot-line and stereotype that has ever been done, and they were done so blatantly BADLY, they were vomit-inducing. Let me list them for you:

1) Insensitive, racially-superior, short-sighted, capitalist White Men/Americans (think Dances with Wolves, Far and Away, or any movie involving George Clooney.)
2) Out-numbered, Underdog Battle Scenes (think Braveheart, The Patriot, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, etc.)
3) Ridiculously-overdone and wasteful destruction by military machines/weaponry (think Terminator, Transformers, War of the Worlds, Independence Day.)
4) Annoyingly-Predictable Romance: Boy meets Girl under False Pretenses, Girl Hates Boy, Boy wins Girl over while falling for her, Girl discovers False Pretenses, Girl hates Boy again, Boy redeems himself and wins Girl back (think How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, She's All That, 10 Things I Hate About You, You've Got Mail, and about 1,000 other examples in the "Romantic Comedy/Drama" Genre.)
5) One-dimensional, Evil Bad Guy that takes forever to kill (see films mentioned above, plus about 1,000,000 other examples from the Horror and Suspense Genres.)

But the WORST thing about this movie was it's blatantly-obvious, preachy, condescending moral/political/environmental Agenda that was shoved down the throat of the audience with NO subtlety or artistry. I like dramatic movies. I like intelligent dialogue. I like subtle humor and symbolism. I like movies that make me think. So, I can respect a movie with a message, but I also want to be treated like an intelligent person with a brain and Free Will. I do not appreciate being bitch-slapped by someone else's "Agenda."

I also found the movie's portrayal of the U.S. Military offensive. I hate war movies and violent movies because they ALWAYS feature hundreds of deaths of "minor characters" and "extras," showing no regard for them as human beings. (This goes for "Good Guys" as well as "Bad Guys." EVERY PERSON in a movie is somebody's son or daughter and could be somebody's parent or sibling or friend--I HATE the way Hollywood so easily treats human life as "expendable.") While the movie tried to "separate" the audience from their loyalty and support of American Men and Women currently serving their Country by stating that the soldiers stationed at Pandora were just "mercenaries" going there for a paycheck, I still found it offensive and insensitive. The plot was rife with symbolism and metaphors and parallels equating Pandora's natural resources with Iraqi Oil. They even included a line for the maniacal Bad-Guy Military Commander, labeling the "Natives" as Terrorists and stating, "We'll fight terror with terror" (knowing full well that the "Natives" had no weapons that could penetrate their military machines and that "women and children" would be killed.) Plus, the movie gratuitously showed a Marine slaughtering his former co-workers dressed in the same Military Fatigues that our Men and Women serving in Iraq, Afghanistan, Korea, etc. are CURRENTLY WEARING! Am I the ONLY person in America who found that OFFENSIVE?!?!?

I left the movie theatre feeling completely pissed off and really annoyed that I paid full price for the tickets. I ranted all the way home to my kids, in an attempt to "de-program" them from their Brainwashing Experience, pointing out all of the STUPIDITY in the plot and dialogue. Hollywood honestly wants people to think that our military and political leaders sit around and make decisions without caring one iota about innocent lives and collateral damage. Hollywood is FULL of ignorance. Unfortunately, Hollywood is also full of financial wealth and the ability to use movie-making to push their lame and ignorant "World View."

I came home tonight all riled up and wanting to vent, but I have no forum/influence outside of the impressionable minds of my two children, besides this blog which is buried in cyberspace and un-influential. My kids respect my opinions and listen to what I have to say, and I think my dialogue with them afterwards made an impression. They both loved the movie, but it was our discussion AFTER the movie that made them THINK. Thankfully, they understand that movies are "make-believe" and so they seperate "real life" from movies. (They told me, after my Rant, "Geez, Mom--it's JUST a movie! Lighten up!") Still, it saddens me to get on the internet, hoping to find Like-Minded people posting reviews of this movie noting the same things I noted, and, sadly, can't find many.

I can only hope that "Real America" agrees with me, but they are too busy being fiscally-responsible and taking care of their kids and their communities and preparing "Care Packages" to soldiers overseas to have time to waste dithering about a STUPID movie on the internet.

I am deeply-saddened that during times of recession, Hollywood continues to thrive. I will never, EVER pay full-price for a movie again. I will wait and see it at the Dollar Theatre or for it to become available on NetFlix, but NEVER AGAIN will I give that VILE INDUSTRY more than a dollar of my wages! And the only reason I will give them THAT much is because Hollywood employs A LOT of people--set designers, camera crew, costume designers, make-up artists, etc. and brings Revenue to the locations they are filming in (including my home state), so, as a Capitalist, I won't cut them off completely, but I can certainly "limit" my "donations"!

Rant Over.

I think I need to go watch It's a Wonderful Life again so I can purge James Cameron's Cattle-Prod from my backside. (Fortunately for me, my head is not shoved up my ass, so my brain was not damaged by his attempt at turning me into an ignoramus.)

Game

If I see another segment on a supposedly "legitimate" News Show (like Good Morning America, Nightline, 20/20, etc.) that has ANYTHING to do with Tiger Woods, I swear I am going to throw a brick through my TV set.

Tiger Woods is famous for playing Golf. Kobe Bryant and "Magic" Johnson are famous for playing Basketball. Frank Gifford is famous for playing Football and then becoming a Sports Commentator. Alex Rodriguez is famous for playing Baseball.

What do they all have in common?

They are famous because of their skill at playing a particular sport. They made their fortunes through playing a GAME, and playing it well, and, consequently, were paid VERY well. They are also "famous" for being philanderers.

I admit, I'm disappointed by Tiger Woods, but I can't say I'm surprised. He "appeared" to be different from Other Athletes, but, in the end, he is earning his living playing a GAME. He is NOT a teacher, NOT a Police Officer, NOT a Marine/Air Force/Army/Navy Soldier. He plays GOLF for a living. Gee Whiz. How vacuous and unsubstantial is THAT? Sure, he earns a great deal of money, but for WHAT? Yes, he has a skill, and it required hours of practice and discipline to acquire that skill, but, let's face it, Professional Golfers aren't going to achieve World Peace or solve World Hunger.

Professional Athletes are in the upper eschelon of income in America, but the millions that they earn, and the reason WHY they earn so much is a bit distasteful to the average Americans like myself who USE THEIR BRAINS to make a living. From my perspective, playing a sport professionally seems to be such a vacuous and redundant gig, that I would consider it to be my Worst Nightmare. Professional Athletes are expected to play the same game, over and over and over again. Yet, they are pandered to and fawned over so much that it nauseates anyone with any sensibility.

There are many professional athletes out there who are barely literate--and certainly not articulate--who should NEVER have been allowed to graduate from high school, yet have somehow managed to gain college degrees. Tiger Woods was "different" because he was articulate and appeared to be "smart." Oh--and he was Black, so, of course, America will bend over backwards to embrace him as the Next Great Role Model for our children.

Guess what? He is NOT that smart!

A SMART man, knowing he was in the Public Eye, would not cheat on his wife. A SMART man would appreciate the stability and loyalty of a Good Woman. Tiger Woods was well aware that he was a public figure, followed by Papparazzi, yet he picked "Cocktail Waitresses" as his source of Sexual Release? Dumb, DUMB, and DUMBER!!!! These vacuous, narcissistic females are among the MOST indiscreet, gold-digging, LEECHES! He stupidly subjected himself to extortion and blackmail, and for what? Sex? What a CHUMP!

Ah, well, he certainly has plenty of company--John F. Kennedy, Bill Clinton, John Edwards, and David Letterman come to mind...

So, yeah, I think Tiger Woods is an IDIOT now, but I also do not consider him to be a legitimate News Story. He's a GOLFER, for crying out loud! Golfers do not contribute to my life or my children's lives in any meaningful way. He can cheat on his wife all he wants, but--gee--so long as it doesn't affect his Golf Game, WHO CARES!?!?

Yeah, Tiger Woods and his wife (and his kids) are in a world of hurt right now, but how is that relevant to me and America? And WHY is it any of our business?

There are so many "regular" Americans (who can't play golf for shit), who are worrying about making their mortgage payments or finding a job or feeding their kids. We honestly don't care about Tiger Woods, and I wish the News Media would focus more of their attention on "regular America" instead of sensationalizing so-called "Celebrities."