I don't have any tattoos, and I never will. I don't dislike tattoos on other people, I just can't see myself with one. It does not "fit" my personality or lifestyle. I have several friends with tattoos, and I like their tattoos and think they look good--on THEM. But, me getting a tattoo? Too weird!
Tattoos have come a long way in the last few decades. They used to represent either jail-time, Biker-Gang membership, or military service. Nowadays they are far more mainstream. But, for uptight, prissy people such as myself, there is still that stigma of "trashiness" that first pops into my head when I see a tattoo. I try to be open-minded and non-preachy, and I have learned to set aside my biases, particularly when people I know and like display tattoos. How can I say tattoos are "bad" when this person, who I really respect and like hanging out with, has several?
I try not to judge.
But, I DO judge people who complain about "being poor" and not having enough money to buy school supplies for their kids or school lunches for their kids, yet they are sporting new and expensive tattoos every time I see them. The most heavily-tattooed people I know happen to be "Welfare-to-Work Mothers" who have received subsidized housing, childcare, and healthcare. That kind of BUGS me. They can drop $500 on a new tattoo, but can't pay $200 for after-school care for their kid? How is that possible? Their kids get "scholarships" to attend Boy Scout Camp while I have to write a check and forego a haircut and cut back on groceries for two weeks so the check will clear.
I would like my checkbook to reflect my values, so dropping hundreds of dollars on "inking" myself (or buying expensive jewelry for myself) seems selfish and shallow. I also know that I cannot drop hundreds of dollars "marking" myself in a permanent way that I can't take back (at least expensive jewelry can be pawned...) I sort of like the idea of always having an "undo" button for my life. I lecture my kids all the time about consequences. You get a tattoo and BAM there is no going back! When you are 85 and in a nursing home with sagging skin and back fat, those "cool" angel wings adorning your lower back, just above the waistline of the low-rise skinny jeans you had when you were 22 are going to look rather ridiculous.
I understand that people tattoo themselves as a form of "self expression" and put lots of thought into their design choices. I understand that tattoos are a form of artwork and can even have cultural origins and significance. They just aren't a form of artwork I want to own. Quite frankly, I'd rather buy new furniture, a cordless drill, or a palm sander. Oh, look! It's my Christmas Wish List!
When I look back on my life, I can see how I have morphed and changed so much during the last 2 decades. I can't commit to a tattoo because 5 years from now, I may have morphed and changed some more and could regret it. Nothing feels more hopeless and chastising than regret, so I choose to avoid things that might lead me to that state.
I work for a conservative agency. I have serious "self-esteem issues" when it comes to my body parts. The LAST thing I would want to do is call any sort of attention to my body parts, which, from my perspective, is something tattoos tend to do. I would rather be recognized for my writing or my public speaking skills and not for my ankles or my cleavage. Judge me on my brain, not on my looks. And, yeah, I know, it's "narrow-minded" and "snooty," but if you are going to tattoo yourself, you are just going to have to face the fact that a certain segment of the population is going to think that makes you look like "trash." I prefer to avoid such a label. Call me a coward, but I am struggling through this life with a limited support system. I am not "tough enough" to repel such backlash, when I already feel burdened repelling all the backlash I get (real or imagined) for being a) divorced, b) a working mother, c) a Civil Servant, and d) a Conservative. I get PLENTY of darts thrown in my direction already--I certainly don't want to be a target for any more.
So, that being said, let me talk about how I spend Quality Time with my kids. I have no problem finding opportunities to spend Quality Time with my daughter--after all, she is my little "Mini-Me," so we find all kinds of hobbies and interests we can share together. We garden, we sew, we compost, we bead bracelets, etc. But, I also have a 12-year-old son going through puberty whose interests are largely limited to football and computer and video games. Lately, he has expressed a lot of interest in learning how to cook, so that has been a good way for me to spend Quality Time with him. But, it is really hard for me to feign interest in his video games and movie choices because he loves Fantasy and Sci-Fi--two genres I LOATHE. But, he does like a lot of the same music that I like, so lately we have "bonded" over bouts of RockBand on the Wii system he got for Christmas. He plays the guitar, and I play the Drums (badly, I should add...) Every once in awhile, we will stay up on a Friday night until the wee hours of the morning playing RockBand. Recently, he had us go "On Tour," which was upsetting because it required me to play up to six songs in a row with no break (not good for an Old Lady with Carpal Tunnel Symptoms in her hands). He told me we had to go on Tour, because you make more money that way. He then showed me how to go to the Rock Shop and SPEND that money on my character. And that's how I got hooked!
I GOT TO GO SHOPPING WITH FAKE MONEY!
My "alter ego" (or "Evil Twin Sister," as I like to call her), has a Barbie doll figure (of course--RockBand--like all Video Games--only allows for Female Characters that are painfully skinny yet still manage to have Big Boobs), and I dressed her up in a ridiculously-expensive, low-cut Goth top with fishnet stockings and a mini-skirt and Sexy Boots (also ridiculously-expensive). My son got all indignant and said, "Mom! You are a DRUMMER! You can't play drums in that skirt!"
I rolled my eyes and reminded him, "it's just a GAME, and that's not ME, it's my Evil Twin Sister!"
And then I learned that tattoos are FREE in the Rock Shop, so I headed over there and got upper arm and chest tattoos (some sort of scrolly-hearts and angel wing things), and my son got all mad and said, "Now THAT'S just DISTURBING..." and refused to play RockBand with me for the rest of the night.
So, now you see why I can't get a tattoo--it would just be "too disturbing."
But, if I ever did get a tattoo, I would probably get some sort of flowering vine that wrapped around my ankle, or maybe a tiny little intricate heart design somewhere the sun doesn't shine...(not that I've actually put any thought into it or anything...)
