Traditions

This is going to be a long post, since I have Christmas on my brain, and a To-Do List a mile long to make sure we cover all of our family traditions this year!

My mother's father's family was German, and she spent her childhood Christmases with her grandparents, aunts, and uncles in Ohio. But, my great grandmother was a notoriously bad cook, so there are no "family recipes" on German cooking to pass down (perhaps that is a good thing). My grandparents moved to Arizona when my mother and her sisters were young, so, away from extended family, new traditions had to begin. Unfortunately, my grandparents weren't the warmest of parents and did not have kid-oriented Christmases, so when my mother had a family of her own, she compensated by creating our own Christmas traditions, which evolved over the years, through trial and error.

One Christmas, during my Little House on the Prairie phase, we decorated our tree by stringing popcorn and cranberries, which were later placed on the trees outside for the birds to eat. Another year, we did a Victorian Christmas, complete with "crackers," mincemeat pies, and Plum Pudding with Hard Sauce.

Living in New Mexico with a mother who was fascinated by local culture, artwork, and history, we adopted local traditions, like having posole, tamales, enchiladas, and other New Mexican fare on Christmas Eve. We also put out farolitos on Christmas Eve (brown paper lunch sacks filled with a bit of sand to weight them down, and a votive candle). Entire neighborhoods in our community would line streets and driveways with these "little lanterns" to "light the way for the Christ Child." (People in New Mexico argue all the time over whether they are farolitos or luminarias--I say farolito because "farol" means lantern and "luminar" involves bonfires, so farolito, "little lantern," seems more fitting than "little bonfire.") We would all pitch in to get the farolitos up in our own yard, and then we would drive around on Christmas Eve enjoying the miles and miles of farolitos in other neighborhoods, Christmas music playing in the car stereo. We have been known to wear Santa Hats, Elf Ears, or Reindeer Antlers while doing this! One year we all wore Santa Hats and Groucho Glasses (including the nose and moustache, of course!)

We never put up the Christmas Tree until the week after Thanksgiving, and we always put lights out on the trees and bushes in the front yard. Santa presents always made their appearance unwrapped, or in a plain white gift box tied with red or green yarn. We still received "Santa Presents" into adulthood. We watched all of the Christmas specials on TV with at least one viewing of It's a Wonderful Life. We read 'Twas the Night Before Christmas from a beautifully-illustrated book before bed on Christmas Eve, when we were allowed to open just one present. Some years, we were able to persuade my parents to let us open ALL the presents on Christmas Eve, but this only occured if we would be hosting Christmas Dinner with our good friends the next day, which required lots of cooking and table-setting, so sometimes my parents would relent.

We always got out my mother's wedding china and silverware, which meant polishing the silver because it was silver-plated (one of the few chores I enthusiastically participated in each year because I loved her silverware and dishes). My mother passed down the wedding china to me a few years ago after replacing it with more contemporary Dansk dishes and a complete set of Christmas dishes. She knew how much I loved her china and was pleased to hand it down to make room for her current taste in dishes (her wedding china was really selected for her by my grandmother).

There were always craft projects and holiday ornament-making growing up. My mother often got these ideas out of magazines, and she kept us occupied all month long with these projects, which were often given away to friends and teachers as gifts. I still have several of them for my own tree--counted cross-stitch designs in frames, patchwork hearts, stuffed and trimmed with lace, Victorian Christmas scenes decoupaged onto wooden cut-outs).

My mother made homemade candy (taffy, prailines, caramels, peanut brittle, fudge) and cookies (shortbread, meringues, apricot-nut bars, and a half dozen others). The older we got, and the more accomplished my mother became, the "fancier" the cookie trays became. We packaged them up and delivered or mailed them to relatives and neighbors. Everything was always entirely homemade and while the recipes changed from year-to-year, they were always elegant and something we only made at Christmastime.

Christmas music was always playing in the house non-stop, and my mother had an enormous collection. My grandfather worked for Goodyear Aerospace and every year Goodyear gave their employees a holiday album, compiled by various popular singers. But my mother had all kinds of other albums as well--folk singers (Peter, Paul, and Mary's Christmas Album is still one of my favorites), handbells, music box collections, children's choirs, jazz, classical guitar, piano solos...the list went on and on. Her collection grew every year. I spent two Christmases in college working in a department store, listening to hour after hour of Christmas music while dealing with rude customers, so that experience kind of ruined Christmas music for me, so I don't listen to it much unless I'm decorating the tree or baking. There were also stacks and stacks of Christmas books--from childrens' stories to collections of Christmas traditions and celebrations around the world. Now I have a huge box of holiday books for my kids, as well as for myself. We get them out and flip through them all month long. I always read O. Henry's Gift of the Magi, and it still makes me cry, every year!

I still do most of these things with my own kids, but I have adapted them to fit into my reality which involves a full-time job and limited time to cook and bake and sew. We rarely do craft projects and homemade ornaments, for example. The only candy I make is Toffee, coated with chocolate and chopped pecans. Sometimes I'll do fudge and divinity. The only cookies I make are shortbread, gingerbread (to decorate), and biscochitos (a traditional New Mexican cookie--full of shortening, seasoned with anise, and sprinkled with plenty of cinnamon sugar). Sometimes I'll add macaroons or some fancy recipe I found in a magazine, but not often. Everybody I know seems to be on a diet anyway, and my kids aren't big cookie eaters (I know! They are so weird!), so I don't do nearly as much baking as I used to. I'd like to continue with the New Mexican Christmas Eve menu, but my kids aren't big fans of Mexican food (too spicy!), so I'll have to add quesadillas, and save the tamales and enchiladas for myself! Posole is a stew made with hominy, pork, chile, onions, and tomatoes--again not something my kids will eat, but it is so good with homemade tortillas, and I can always freeze the leftovers and have it on New Year's Day (for good luck)!

So much of our holiday traditions revolve around food. Now that I'm a "grown-up," I've developed my own specialties that I am known for, just like my Mom had hers. These are mine:

1. Homemade Egg Nog. The recipe I use has a cooked custard base (no raw eggs), and is absolutely "to die for." The kids drink it plain, the grown-ups add kahlua. My little nephew had his first taste of it last year, and he said, "Mmmmmm....more?" We called it "Christmas Milk" for him!

2. Cheese Ball. These are so easy, it's embarrassing, but people--including my kids--love them, so I give them as gifts to co-workers, and I always send at least one to my in-laws. My cheese ball combines cream cheese with sharp cheddar cheese, a couple cloves of garlic, chopped black olives, and a little evaporated milk. I shape them into balls and roll them in a mixture of finely chopped pecans and smoked paprika.

3. Santa Bread. This actually evolved from one of my Mother's ideas for Teacher Gifts one year. We bought frozen bread dough, and using instructions from a magazine, shaped the dough into Santa faces--we rolled out a large oval, then cut "fringe" all around, about an inch wide and two inches deep. Then, we twisted the strips and made them into "curls" that looked like hair and a beard. A few small pieces of dough were rolled into eyes, a nose, and a twisted moustache. The dough was brushed with egg white and water (for "shine") and baked to perfection. I do the bread dough from scratch now, using a dinner roll recipe that requires more sugar than most, eggs, milk, and butter for a rich, sweet dough that tastes great on Christmas morning with butter and jam. These used to go to family and friends, but sometimes the list includes co-workers and neighbors. I still make one for my in-laws every year and also for the kids' teachers. The teachers love it so much, that sometimes we have to make a few extra for the Teacher's Lounge, so their previous year teachers can have it again! I make anywhere from 10 to 18 Santa Breads each year--that's a lot of bread dough! But, people rave about it, and it costs next to nothing, except time, plus it's good for my ego. (Amazing how nutty people can be over something so simple as homemade bread!) The kids love it, too, and now they even help make it--they like making Santa's curls and eyeballs! They'll ask me, "when are we going to start making Santa Breads?" and people around us will ask, "What in the world is Santa Bread?" And then we have to tell them the story. It's taken on a life of it's own--it's practically legendary at the kids' elementary school! Some of my friends and co-workers will actually call me up and ask, timidly and hopefully, "Are we getting a Santa Bread this year?" Honestly, it's beginning to get out of control! I work full-time! I can only do so much! I have to start early in December and keep half of them in the freezer in order to get them all done by Christmas Eve. Fortunately, each recipe makes 2 Santa Breads, but still...! Ah, well, I love the attention, so I do it every year, without fail.

Divorce hasn't had too much of an impact on our holidays. I still have 2 weekends of the month to cram in holiday festivities with my kids. If I don't have them for the week of Christmas, we just wait and celebrate when they return. We lose the Christmas Eve ritual, but that isn't as important now that they are older--at least they always had it when they were younger. Not being a part of my ex's family has altered my traditions somewhat--he had a large family, so they were the people I made cookies and candy for, since my Mom had our side covered. I do miss being a part of my in-laws celebrations and baking for them.

I hope that when my kids are grown, they will look back and associate certain things with me, just as I do with my own Mom. Traditions are meant to be shared and repeated--they should bring people together, whether it's watching movies or driving around looking at Christmas lights. There should be elements of music, food, and story-telling.

My Dad is going to Arizona to spend Christmas with my sister this year, and I was thinking I could make up some of Mom's cookie and candy recipes to send along. I have most of her recipes, but I'm not sure I can do them justice, and I'm not sure any of us can enjoy them without a tremendous feeling of sadness and loss. I'll have to think on that for awhile.

I also have to figure out what to do about Christmas lights now that we are in a new house. This house has a very stark, barren front yard without trees or bushes, so that means my only option is to put lights up on my house, which will require a ladder, and multiple extension cords, not to mention actually FINDING my boxes of Christmas lights which are still buried in my garage, behind all of those boxes from my move that have yet to be unpacked.

Perhaps I'll just wait until Christmas Eve and do farolitos instead...