Grateful

As I was thinking about what to write for this post, I was reminded of my favorite Ann Lander's Column that ran sometime around Thanksgiving:


Things to Be Thankful For

Be thankful for the clothes that fit a little too snug, because it means you have enough to eat.

Be thankful for the mess you clean up after a party, because it means you have been surrounded by friends.

Be thankful for the taxes you pay, because it means you're employed.

Be thankful that your lawn needs mowing and your windows need fixing, because it means you have a home.

Be thankful for your heating bill, because it means you are warm.

Be thankful for the laundry, because it means you have clothes to wear.

Be thankful for the space you find at the far end of the parking lot, because it means you can walk.

Be thankful for the lady who sings off-key behind you in church, because it means you can hear.

Be thankful when people complain about the government, because it means we have freedom of speech.

Be thankful for the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours, because it means you're alive.



When I read this column, it sort of slaps me in the face because it reminds me that all of my complaints are petty and small compared to all of the things I have to be thankful for--especially during these times of "gloom and doom," with daily news reports about lay-offs and bank failures and veterans with traumatic brain injuries--all of which are far removed from my own situation.

I joke that I lead a very boring life, but the reality is that I lead a life that is free of hardships, and for that I am thankful. But, I also recognize that I got to live this sort of life not just through luck, but through the choices I made. The choices I made were largely based on certain values that had been instilled in me at a young age. I would not be where I am today, if it weren't for certain people, and I am most grateful for having them in my life.

I am grateful that my grandparents lived through the Depression and valued hard work, responsibility, and financial security through saving your money and living modestly.

I am grateful that my father, whose parents only had high school educations, was raised to value education and encouraged to go further than his own parents had, even if it meant struggling to pay for that college degree.

I am grateful that my parents had high expectations for their daughters and allowed us the independence to succeed or fail based on our own actions and decisions--there were no bailouts in our household. If we chose not to study for a test and failed, there would be no phone calls to the teacher to ask for a grade change. If we failed, it was our own fault. Consequences were always discussed in our household.

I am grateful that my fear of consequences kept me on the "straight and narrow." I did not place myself in risky situations, nor did I engage in behavior that could have negative results. Unlike most of my friends, I was always thinking about the "What Ifs." I still do.

I am grateful that my parents did not hand out compliments and praise for nothing. It made me very recognition-oriented because the only time I got the attention I craved was by achieving something significant, like straight A's or Leadership Awards or a full-tuition scholarship to college.

I am grateful that my mother lectured us in our teens--unabashedly discussing very adult topics like sex and drugs with an attitude that we were mature enough to handle it, even though, at the time, we were horribly embarrassed and uncomfortable with it. She certainly scared us, but that fear kept me a "good girl." She spoke to us and treated us like mature young adults--not like we were stupid teenagers, incapable of having anything intelligent to say. They say children will rise to your level of expectation, and she had very high expectations of us, and we certainly did not want to disappoint her.

I am grateful that my mother spoke to us about her own hopes and dreams--and her regrets. She wanted us to go further--attain all the things that she didn't, and so we did. Her honesty, while sometimes painful, taught us many valuable lessons.

I am grateful that I was the "Main Breadwinner" during my marriage because it kept me from quitting a job that sometimes I did not particularly like. I stuck it out for 10 years because I had to "pay the bills," but during that time, I established a reputation with my co-workers and managers as a hard-working employee, and I volunteered for other assignments--mainly to get out of doing the work I didn't like--which gave me more experiences, new skills, and greater "exposure." It laid the foundation for my career, and I was rewarded with a new job as an analyst that suited me perfectly. And, because I didn't change employers, my pay increased, and my benefits increased, and my retirement plan remained intact because I didn't have to start over somewhere else. Responsibility and patience pay off, and just because you don't like your job, that doesn't mean you should do shitty work. My job may have been shitty, but my work never was.

I am grateful that I have always had managers who cared about my development and encouraged me to take on different assignments. They recommended me for Teams and Special Projects, and allowed me to go on Details that altered the path of my career, even though it made their jobs a little tougher while I was away. I have never, ever had a "bad" boss.

I am grateful that I have two healthy children who are growing up to be interesting and funny people, and that I knew enough about parenting to know it was important to just "be myself" with them. They don't just see me as "Mom," but also as a human being who makes mistakes, laughs at inappropriate things, and isn't afraid to tell them the truth about things. They have seen me cry; they have heard me rant; they have been subjected to my lecturing. There are no surprises in this house--I may not be perfect, but at least I'm consistent because I'm not trying to be a phony.

I am grateful my Dad lives nearby and can still come to "rescue me" when a pipe bursts or my car won't start. (He also buys me tools. Whee!)

Most of all, I am grateful that whenever I am fumbling around, feeling like a helpless failure because I don't know how to do something, I hear my mother telling me, "Nonsense! Don't be ridiculous! You can do anything, you just need to figure it out."

She was right. It may take awhile, but I'll eventually figure it out.